I can't do it anymore - it is too difficult for me to pretend I am happy and comfortable in my own skin when there is no way this can possibly be true. I can't love the unlovable... I've tried, Christ how I've tried, but it is impossible. I've tried to say positive things to myself, I've tried to take better care of myself (recently I started kickboxing... another pathetic attempt to lose weight). I am a useless, stupid, fat, ugly loser who has never achieved anything and never will. No one can possibly love me, I wish someone would just put me down. If we put animals out of their misery, why can't we do it to humans too? I'm sorry... I tried, and tried, and tried... but I can't keep waking up in the morning only to look at myself and hate everything about me. I don't have the money for a therapist, I don't want to go to the gym anymore because it's truly humiliating being the fattest and most out-of-shape person in the gym, and I am all alone here - my roommates are my roommates, not my friends, and I am not comfortable asking them for advice. Come to think of it, I have no friends here. And DON'T say, "If you can't love yourself, how can you expect other people to love you?" It's pure ********. I am perfectly capable of loving other people - I've done it time and time again, and my heart has gotten stepped on. Oh please, someone shoot me.