Those were lies that were told to you and as an adult you need to work through that ugliness to realize none of it is true. It matters because it happened to yu and affects your whole life. It happened to me 40 years ago. I hope you get into counseling. Nothing you say will shock or disgust a therapist. Sadly this is so prevalent. You aren't crazy or stupid or any of those other ugly words. You are a person who is suffering and needs help.

None of those ugly words are true about you. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life.