I guess you are doing the right thing, which is having a correct idea on what's really going on in your family.

You have come to a crucial step where you rejected all their mean words about you, and are starting sending them back: it's not me, it's you. I am not wrong, as a person. It is how you behave that is wrong.

Next step is the obvious: get out of there as soon as you can. If you can't right now, start planning it right now, start building life, job etc in order to get far far away from there.

Your parents and siblings seem to be not aware of the manipulative drive in the family. Maybe Mom and Dad are manipulating one another and they are happy that way or, I should say, they don't know how else to behave.
Maybe, as a family, the rest of them belong together. You don't. Being born in a family doesn't mean we are really kindred spirits.

Start your own road, as far from your family as you can. I did the same and I built myself up too: I knew that I was not like them, so I unlearned all the bad options I had taken in that house and slowly learned to do what I wanted to do and to say.
Big shift, big big shift, I promise.
Oh of course I had one psychotherapist to help me out first and an analyst, then. Transactional analysis did great.

Keep up the good work, you are on the right path: you don't want to be like them, even if they mean good for you. Of course they do, but they can only teach you what they know. They cannot teach non-manipulative behavior, is what they do on a daily basis is to manipulate the whole world.

By the way, you are correct. Manipulate is dishonest and shouldn't be acted out. If only one knew how to avoid it.