That must feel awful! I hope you are okay now. Vent all you want you will always have your friends here at PC! I understand I have felt like that before, it seems no matter how hard you stab, score, split and shave your arms and legs no matter what medicine you take no matter what shrink you talk to no one can understand you and nothing will get better, well it turns out after that horrible time things do get better, they get much better! I hope for you they get the very best. Hugs and Hope, Sarah