I know, but the entire concept of masculinity is a big issue in my life. I don't know if you have seen some of my other posts; for background, my creepy-*** father was a disturbed cross-dresser who used to constantly berate my masculinity as boy/young man. Which was extremely ironic, kind of like a raging alcoholic lecturing about sobriety while in the middle of downing a fifth of Stoli or Jose Cuervo. So, I am sensitive about it. I never questioned my orientation, I never had any desire to follow in his footsteps, the thought makes me want to puke, in fact, I have to wear a full-length compression stocking right now for a few weeks because I had vascular surgery, and that is triggering, it looks like women's hose and I have to steel myself to put it on. I like feeling like an ordinary guy, I like how I look now in a muscle shirt or swimming trunks since I lost weight and work out and have a physique. And years of that subliminal mind-**** left me insecure. Add in the medical history, and, well, I guess it's understandable. I would just like to know that my boys could get the job done in the highly unlikely chance it were a remote possibility. Given that I am a mess and frankly have mostly been attracted to women my own age or older, the odds are about the same as winning the $300 million lotto.