Soo here's the thing. First of all, I am 21 years old. And I have never been in a proper relationship. The last sort of relationship I had was six years ago. It was long distance and went nowhere really fast.

And ever since, I've gone for guys who I know I can't have.

My latest crush - A guy who is in the country for 6 weeks. The one before that - a foreign exchange student.

And all the while there's an attractive and nice guy, who actually lives here and is available and likes me and I just don't want him. And don't tell me to go for him because if I don't even like him like that then what's the point.

My guess is that it's related to the fact that my dad left when I was little. Like 2 or something. So I just pick guys who will leave too, because then I'm in control or something..

I know it's an issue, but I don't know how to deal with it. I'd just once like to find a guy who is available and have a normal relationship. But I can't do that if I'm blind to all available guys because there's an unavailable one I'm going after. :/