I can hear how down on yourself you feel, but as others have said you are missing the positive....you get to the gym, you are doing something about yourself. that takes real courage and motivation. something many of us lack. for times you are feeling like this, I encourage people to focus on one thing positive about themselves. like I am a great professional writer, so no matter how bad I felt about me and how much I was trash talking me, I could always say, yeah but, I am a great professional writer and have something positive to feel good about myself with. so what it that one positive thing about you. you have initiative to get yourself to that gym, what other talents do you have that you can feel good about? use them to counteract the barrage of negativity that you bombard yourself with. take care.