I agree that this T has basically told you that she is not willing to work through a personal transference. She sees it as an impediment to therapy, rather than as an inherent part of therapy. It doesn't mean she's a bad therapist, just that transference isn't central to her philosophy of practice. I also agree that her demonstrated boundaries are problematic, especially given that she knows of the potential of your transference.

Perhaps you should seriously consider seeing a male T?