Good points.

I know for me, it is also very good to question what I'M thinking, and how the interaction is affecting me, or should affect me.

This helps me to not become involved in someone else's "drama." It helps me to realize that yes, that might be an issue for the other person, and yes, I do care BUT it really has no value for me in my life and doesn't really affect me and my goals and my safety.

Asking and telling is very good. I know when I learned to tell someone, "What you are doing is making me very angry" helped me considerably to let them know where I was "at" and often prevented my own meltdown.

TC!