I read your post, and want to let you know you are not a bad person. your family needs some kind of family counseling, but i think your parents would probably never go for it. could you go to school counseling? or through a community counseling center.? That is what happened to me i had been treated negatively by my family and they were the ones who put me in the pshyc ward, i can't go into all the details here but it did help even though i fought the docs and t's. They neded it themselves, but i figured being anywhere else besides home was heaven to me, nd i learned alot about the mental health system and the people in it. Alot of us are practically saints with the crap we put up with and had to deal with on our own.