thanks for reassuring me. now i dont feel like such a freak. i swear the way i look at myself other people the world is just so out of proportion. the first few sessions of sobbing reminded me of when i first tried to get sober about 7 years ago. it was so confusing & frustrating. i was the only one in there sobbing like that & when i went to a halfway house there was a girl i went to school with & she said she had done the same thing. i have a ways to go & your right i guess my therapist knows the way out. id just like to know what he thinks it is & what direction hes moving in. i get paranoid thinking that he must be like man this girl has problems. like hes never seen anyone like me before. that sounds so conceited doesnt it? well my next appt is on the 3rd of jan so hopefully my nerves will be settled after that. i constatly have butterflies in my stomach lately.