There's books out there, self-help, that delve into the pop-psychology of why women go for emotionally unavailable men. Can be enlightening. Counseling, can help, too. It's a bit more, than your father, I'm sure. Could delve into self esteem, fear of being vulnerable.
I get what you mean about control, you can control how emotionally bonded you become with someone, who's unavailable because it's safer, to a point, than the risk involved with someone who is available.
I went through a spell, where all I seemed to be attracting, were married men. Was really eating at me. Because, I didn't want to go down that path. It was therapeutic, too, because I'd befriended for many years, a man, who was long distance. And I realized, he, too, was emotionally unavailable to me.

Out of curiosity, with these men, who will leave, to far off places, do you remotely consider the idea of travelling with them? Does the idea, that things could work out, tempt you?