Orion I'm here if you need to talk. Let me give you some info about me. Sober date Nov 09 1990. Yes it is hard But I can tell you it is worth it to , it was. I stopped in my fourtys Yea it is hard there are people out there get phone numbers and meetings to go to. As AA states It will work if you work it. And remimber there are no wimps in Aa or na.