wow...

Your sister does need help, but I don't think she is ready to get it.

I know people like her... drama queens that need to be the spotlight, even if to do so they have to hurt themselves...

maybe you can enlist help from someone outside of family? Does she have a friend she'd listen to? Also, she might need a lot of therapy... but you can't let her trap you into her misery. She needs company in her misery, you need to figure out a way to let her know you may need her company in a better place, and that that she can join you there... but she does have to be the one to work for it.

I'm so sorry for you....