Ok sorry but I have a terrible concentration span lol

I don't know what the answer is but just wanted to tell you I can relate to some of the stuff you are saying.

I also think my hubby should leave me but he thinks otherwise. He loves me and wants to be with me despite my issues (BPD, anxiety, avoidance, dependence, list goes on...) so who am I to talk him out of it. I have sat there crying telling him he should leave me, that I am a terrible person but he see's more in me than my BPD and I suspect your bf see's more in you than you realise.

As for checking out guys you have had things with in the past...IMO you're doing no harm I guess....maybe I say that because I do some checking myself on facebook but it's purely out of curiosity. BUT I do have a tendency to become obsessed with other men, not that it goes anywhere other than flirting. But some ppl say that is wrong too. Grey area IMO.

So you wasn't completely honest about your past...who is? My hubby chose not to disclose his full past and I respect that. I chose to tell him most things but held back a few things for myself. Some things are meant just for you, you don't have to share everything. As long as you are faithful, meaning no physical contact with anyone else, I don't see you're doing anything wrong.

Sorry I have probably missed loads f points, but like I said, my concentrations span is awful.

Sending you hugs Try not to be so damn hard on yourself!