A while ago, my T said: "You haven't had a good-enough anything." This thread got me thinking about how he said this, so today I asked him whether it was based on what I'd said or just on what he'd seen in the room - in other words, would he have thought that even if I hadn't told him anything? Could he just tell?

He said yes. That it comes down to loads of things, from the way a person breathes, how they move and where they look to more unconscious stuff. But basically he could tell from the moment I walked into the room. That information is there for anyone to see, but therapists are trained to have a good eye and actually notice it.