People have no place in wither you forgive yourself or not. In fact the only one who knows who you are is you. And when all is said and done that is all that matters. We all do and say things that hurt someone or hurt ourselves. And everyone has an opinion. Sometimes they have a good reason to not want to talk to me again. But it is their good reason. They don't know how difficult it is for me to function in the world. So I have learned to find my truth. Who I am to me. If I see something that I don't like we change it. Not for what people want but for what we want. Love yourself first the rest is not for us to control. Feel better.