I have a lot of these pains too...most that you mention, and I know it's from anxiety. I have had neck/back issues for most of my life as I have been extremely anxious since I was a kid. And you are right, OTC meds don't do a thing. I have tried massage, acupuncture, the chiropractor, etc as well.
I also take topamax for my migraines as I have been getting those since elementary school. My neurologist is also an osteopath and is always freaked out by how tight my neck/back is. Oh, I have also tried skelaxin and another muscle relaxer (I forget the name). Neither helped much and one gave me hives. I hope someone else has a useful answer here!