lol no. That's not what the class is about and even if it were, my true story wouldn't indicate to anyone that I'm not cut out to go pro. The people who get music jobs are the ones who emotionally need music jobs so badly that they eventually find a way to get one. They need it, they can't live without it, so they work for it and get one despite all the sacrifices they have to take. People who can't handle a music job are people who are impatient, not dedicated, extreme perfectionists to the point of snapping, get bored with music and/or can't handle the pressures involved with performance. It has nothing to do with what my parents did to me as a child or any of my psychological shortcomings because I feel more safe performing in an orchestra than I do anywhere else.

My school also doesn't have that cut throat of an attitude. It's actually a very friendly and accepting environment even within studios. Classical musicians typically are competitive, but typically less so than Black Swan because people who are assholes don't get tenure and they don't get freelance work. Also, the people in the class really don't have enough power to totally screw me over. The teacher has a lot of connections, but even if he were totally malicious and did know every detail of my life, he couldn't do too much damage. I've known this guy for a few years and he is a really nice guy. He'd probably keep it quiet and be respectful if I did tell him. I just really don't want to get into it because it is painful for me to talk about and I'd worry about who he'd talk to about it. He just doesn't need to know that stuff about my life, I'm not comfortable sharing, and a lot of the material triggers me.