I think closure comes from within oneself, and the big myth is that someone can give it to us ... if only we knew the reasons, the whys. Thing is, even if you hear the reasons, it will never be enough to feel closure, and with more answers often comes more questions. Closure is something we can only give ourselves in my opinion.

At one point I felt I needed answers... lots of them. It was a very volitile situation. I never got any, a restraining order and peace bond kind of came between myself and answers. I filed both. But I do feel a great sense of closure. I cannot say I ever even look back on the marriage and have any questions, resent, or even pain now. I am not fond of what transpired, but it just is what it is, and in he present it really is not much. I am still raising my three children solo, which you might think would be a reminder , but it just isn't there. Was not immediate, but over time, and healing... growing, working on my own shortcomings, forgiveness of his actions and my own, acceptance ... there are no questions to be answered.

You know you have closure when you feel peace with it. When you can close that chapter and feel good about moving onto the next with no lingering feelings or doubt, anger, or hurt. You don't need answers to get there, sometimes it might help to have them other times it might not. But either way it is attainable.