I was surprised to find that the line on my sanity score was red for PTSD.
I was more surprised to see that it was my highest score.
And even more so that it was a "100."
I dont understand. I have nothing to have had PTSD over. But I also know that it makes alot of sense. I also know that im in a state of denial. Im afraid. Im sick. I want to run away from my aching insides but i CANT.
I feel thoughts pushing at me but i cant acknowledge them.
I know im messed up.
Ive KNOWN im messed up. Defective. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I wish I could rip out myinsides, just so i could stop feeling them anymore. I hate that I know that I have to face this, that there is no escape, no running away...
I don't know what to do.
The silence is so loud.