My hypomanias start out pretty much like anyone's, I guess---elevated mood, everything looks and smells and feels WONDERFUL, life is great, I'm talking and I can't shut up.....and so on.

It's like being on the rollercoaster going up, up, up, until I reach the very top.....and then I whip around a vicious curve at the speed of light and start the serious stuff. This usually involves paranoia, flight of ideas, and verbal incontinence in which the filter between my brain and mouth becomes nonexistent and I say anything and everything that pops into my head, much of which is inappropriate and hurts people. I don't care---it's like "so what's the matter with YOU?!"

I also become extremely irritable, anxious, and agitated. That's when I do incredibly reckless and foolish things behind the wheel of a car, including screaming at strangers in traffic and barreling down the freeway at 100 MPH. I yell at my family and curse at the dog for barking. And all this time, I'm acting like a spoiled brat and accusing my family of "trying to spoil my FUN!" by attempting to set limits on my behaviors. No, I am not a nice person when full-on manic......but I really do love my hypomanias!