Yeah that's kind of what I thought too--not so much a particular technique as a relationship style. Have you read Alison Bechdel's book Are You My Mother? It's a pretty brilliant account of her relationship with her mother, her therapists and her understanding of various psychoanalytic theorists (especially Winnicott) all in a comic/graphic novel format. (You'll remember Bechdel from Dykes to Watch Out For, yes?) It'll help explain the idea in a more vibrant way than a more theoretical book, I think.

Stopdog, I'm newish here and obviously only know a limited side of you so I'm somewhat presumptuously going out in a limb here (forgive me if I'm overstepping!) when I say that much of what you write here suggests that you really don't see the benefit in having a trusting emotional connection with your Ts. Maybe you haven't met the right T for that but it sounds more like you're either mystified or horrified at the thought of that kind of relationship. So much so that I wonder if you doth protest too much!

I think your T might be saying that if you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough, your relationship with her can help you heal some of the hurts of not having having had a good enough mother. She wouldn't "re-parent" you or replace your mother but with your consent and trust she'd respond to some of your early unmet needs with sensitivity and compassion. It would be a shift from just discussing the issues that come up for you and assuming that what you need is to just understand them. It would mean acknowledging that the relationship itself can be healing (and allowing it.)

In a recent thread I think you said something about not trusting your T more than you're willing to lose. Which struck me as be a very well-defended approach to therapy. The thing is, that you also trust her as much as you're willing to gain.