That's a good point too, Sky, being clear on what's "ours" and what's "theirs." I sometimes know by a feeling of "relief" that I don't have to be anxious about something, feeling I have to solve it. Sometimes if I'm feelng bad I ask myself how else I'd like to feel in "this" situation and just realizing I'm feeling appropriately helps me. I have laughed at a funeral before and it's not fun/funny! :-) Knowing exactly where I am in place and time in a situation can be very comforting, stabilizing or centering.

It's harder for me though to get out of my own head and consider the other "side," the other person in a conversation. I got so I could do it pretty good in therapy but it was just my therapist and me in a "quiet" room together, going slowly and "repeating" when necessary; not a situation you get in day-to-day life very often :-)