HI all.

So today was f***** up. I started the day with a mobile hair dresser which was ok as she was very nice but after she left, my hubby was peeved with me for some information I gave her. So I got peeved that he was trying to tell me what I can and cannot say. Anyway, we went out and he gave me the silent treatment and acting real cold and distant. This triggered me into feelings of desperation and then came the anger.....I turned around and told him if he continued to punish me, I was gonna punish him right back. He replied by calling me a selfish b****. Whooaaaaaa well I went crazy, hissing, spitting, shouting, jumping (all of this in a car park after lunch) and running after him as he trotted away back to the car. Got in the car and then went into full throttle b**** from hell mode, shouting abuse and obscenities. I felt as though my veins were gonna pop out of my head right before exploding. So anyway, we argues black crow white for a while. See the thing is, my anger, I think, comes from fear and hurt. I don't know how else to release it. I seriously need help not to get so angry.

Anyway so I went to the shop and this is what I bought:

2 slices of cheeses cake
2 cream cakes
4 bags of crsips
2 packs of fruit pastels
2 big bags of chocolate buttons
and 6 litres of pepsit max with a tub of ice cream to top it off. Now I plan to eat until I feel sick. The process helps make me feel better and to relax after especially if I have made myself sick. It was this or buy drugs. Ok I will be honest, I opted for drugs first but couldn't get any so a food binge came in second.

I am so on edge now and feel so hurt after some of the things he said. But I said awful things too.

I hate my anger