Welcome, deepestwaters40. I can tell you it can get better. I've been where you are, unfortunately, more than once, but is can always get better. Right now I am again severly depressed, but am starting a new med and hope it works. Know how you feel about having to wait to see if it's going to work. I'm bipolar so it's not surprising that I go through deep depressions periodically, but do know there is hope that my mood will come back up to normal again. Good luck to you on your journey. It is not always an easy one.