SD, I know nothing about theory or technique in what you're asking and I also do not have any books to recommend.

But, I thought I'd share with you my experience. My T told me at one time that I was developmentally delayed in my emotional self-awareness. My mother was aloof and was a disciplinarian. There was no overt abuse but I believe I was emotionally neglected.

Although my T never threw out the idea of re-parenting or looking at her as a mother role [it would have turned me off and felt weird to me], I believe that is what she did do by her method of therapy.

With her I was able to become 'small' and vulnerable. With her I was able to feel dependency... but it was a nurturing and healing dependency. No matter how I acted out, I knew and FELT she would not abandon me.

When I challenged her with my occasional distrust of her, she stood solid. She did not waver. When I collapsed in emotion, she was there to soothe.

She encouraged me. She supported me. She offered the kind of unconditional love that one would hope from a mother. She met the need that I had.

And now, I feel more like an adult than ever. I know it sounds strange and my T is younger than me so it has nothing to do with age - it's about consistency and 'known' unconditional positive regard.

Was she perfect? Heck no. I recognize some mistakes she made. She's human. Although initially it rattled me when she made mistakes, she WOULD apologize and remind me she is human.

So, was this the definition of reparenting or having T model a good enough mother? I have no idea. But it sure felt like it to some extent.

Having experienced the kind of trust I have in my T has been invaluable. Being able to accept her humanity and all the flaws that accompany humanness has been so healing. To have been accepted and heard and nurtured is an experience that I will value the rest of my life.