sprik, I'm so sorry your ex is causing you such pain. My ex continued to cause me pain for 4 years after our divorce, so I understand some of what you are going through. I was lucky, in that, my only child was 18 when we divorced so there was know forced visitation. You having 6 children must be so hard to have them go for visitation where they come home upset. Have you sought out counseling to help you deal with this whole situation? If not, I would suggest you get counseling. You can make because your children will give you strength.