I have been throwing C-PTSD related tantrums for days now. I have pain in my left arm, buzzing in my ears from high blood pressure and may have had a mild stroke. The anger - the RAGE - inside me is tremendous. I reached out to 2 new psychologists today and have an appointment to see one tomorrow. He is gay and one of this specialties is trauma. The first visit is a free evaluation. But, he does not accept my insurance. Also, I called 2 former employers to complain about the negative references they have been giving that are preventing me from being employed. My old T said the BEST treatment was to find a secure full-time job. But I have been hampered by these employers who have sick managers who abused me and worsened my C-PTSD and don't want me employed out of fear I will sully their reputations even though I have never threatened to do so. One employer refused to speak with me - she is the truly sick one. I will have to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office against her. The other office was much more receptive. I am tired of suffering. It is extremely difficult to call these office and register complaints about treatment. I do not know if my heart will hold out as I try to right things.