Welcome Jesster! Fellow Michigander  Mental Illness runs in my family to, as does substance abuse, I hope you find the support you need here. I totally agree with Open Eyes get into a good therapy program, Cognitive Behavior Therapy seems to work the best for me and reducing my negative self-talk. I'm starting to feel "worthy" again, I'm realizing my strengths now instead of feeling so powerless. It changes the way you think about things, it will make you are more positive person who is easier to get along with. 
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"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak
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