Thanks, everyone for the support. The fog has cleared a little for me, at least enough for me to let my T know that I'd like to meet sooner than the two weeks I had initially scheduled for our next appointment.

I know that stuff with my exT is getting stirred up, which is really stuff from my childhood getting stirred up, and I just don't want it to be! Kind of ridiculous, I know. I'm so wary of depending in any way on my current T. Just last week I was semi-congratulating myself for not falling into the same transference trap that I did with my exT. And then this week, bam! it all came flooding back. The shame and the fear are so overwhelming sometimes.