My rage stems from hurt I'm sure. Kind of like
Trigger->hurt ->which IMMEDIATELY turns to rage , especially if it's from someone I am dependant on, whether it be husband or psych. or who is dependant on me, like a child.. because it makes me see nothing but FAILURE flashing across my being.
When I stay sober, then I eat more. When I'm drinking I eat less. When I try to do NEITHER (no food or alcohol binging) then I rage more easily.
I used to go to AA/NA , then i realized that i filled that hole of self-hate and sadness with anything. whether it be a substance, or sex, or having someone love me... my bpd really fit in many ways, but im still lacking the DESIRE to actually make the changes I need to make in DBT.
Sorry to hijack... just wanted to say in my longwinded way that I understand (hugs)