Thanks guys!

I am also under the belief I am an evil person so understand how you feel. I have put my hubby through hell and he said to me today I am breking his love for me which is the only thing keeping him with me. On my good days I am a fab person but triggered in ANY way I become a nightmare and act out in self destructive ways and and act out in extreme ways. I haven't yet learned to own my behaviour. I alwayd blame others. But I know all too well, although we can't control other ppl and their actions we can control how we react to them. The porblem is I have no control. Which is why I need to woman up and accept responsibility for what I am doing. Maybe then I will be empowered to take some control back

Thanks guys.