I'm not one of those teenagers with a ton of problems and a tough life. I have a nice looking life, a ton of friends, a good family, food, etc. But I'm not happy. I feel so greedy for it. I feel like an awful person and I should be so grateful. I am grateful thought, just not happy. I put on a big smile for everyone everyday so they can't see anything. It's like I'm hiding. Inside there is this manipulative force that gives me temptations. I can't describe it because it scares me and makes me feel crazy. I don't want to get help. In a way I kind of like it but I know that what I do is not healthy. Am I selfish? I already regret posting this. This is not real life what is happening. How can I make myself my regular self again?