Ah this book is good. As I was reading it about false masks etc, it came to me. All these yrs when I wake up I always feel like there's something that I hide away immediately. I've told T it's got better, but not been able to work out what aspect of myself I'm hiding.
But I've got it. It's my despair. When I'm alone I feel sad but happy. Couldn't work it out. But to be able to be at home in my own body includes being able to experience my own desperation. The desperation the abandoned baby I was, felt.
I must of had to split that off