I've read the very same threads you have and nowhere have I seen the message that sex is forced / obligatory and we should roll over and take it. If it is the norm within a marriage then at the end of the day, the spouse cannot be blamed for expecting it though.

I believe you have a very skewed percepetion regarding what the posters are seeking support for regarding this issue.

Like CE said, there are consenual sexless marriages, it is an option, but the people you are referring to didn't sign up for that option. Most weren't even forewarned that it is preferencial.

For intimacy to suddenly be ripped away from you for no apparant reason and no clear way of getting it back is a very big deal. People feel rejected, abandoned, fear they aren't good enough for their spouse. So just like sex can traumatize people with intimacy issues, suddenly taking it away can be traumatizing for those without.

Its not just a physical release that they are seeking, they are feeling disconnected and lonely within their marriages. If it was purely an "I'm horny" issue, masturbation or cheating would suffice. But no, these people want to feel connected to, and wanted by their spouses.

Its vital to put these topics on the table before making a lifelong comittment, so that both parties are entering into the marriage with their eyes open.

Sadly it seems too many people either don't discuss, or think their partners will adapt to their way eventually. Which ultimately leads to misery on both sides because neither's needs are being met, and they are essentially incompatable.