Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413
S4. I don't think you need to swear off women altogether, but be careful about moving too quickly from relationship to relationship. Especiallty since, like me, you don't do casual. I'm not sure how long you were married, but you may need a little longer than even 14 months to get over that. I am like you in that I get attached way too easily. One conversation with someone that I am attracted to and I find myself planning our wedding. Seriously. Things generally end badly in that 1) My desperation scares them off. 2) they turn out to be just as desperate as I am and I go running the other way. Either way, I think that the other person can sense those strong emotions in us, even when we think we are playing it cool, and it can be off-putting early on in a relationship. It feels to the other person like we are moving way to fast, and, to be honest, we probalby are. Especially in an internet relationship it is easy for the other person to just disappear and for us to feel abandoned. Having a healthy relationship with someone of the opposite sex is something I would dearly love to have, but I am not sure that it will ever happen. I have to just keep working on myself and maybe someday it will come. I have not sworn off men, just not looking right now. Know that you can always vent here.
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I'm not necessarily swearing off women but I am pondering the thought that I could easily be better off if I remain this way. I know me, I enjoy romance and the opposite sex too much to let it go forever but as I said it's something i'm thinking about.
YOu are spot on with everything you've said pretty much.
On the 14 months, it would be something of a thing to worry about if there were any feelings for that or that I really felt like it was a loss or something but it wasn't. It was a dead marriage for a long time. Sure it hurt at first but mostly just because I was used to it. I don't want that back, I don't miss her.. or anything. the grief has been over for awhile now.

but I understand what you're saying. We were married 13 years. (actually more as we're still working on the divorce paperwork but yeah)
I really like this online friend but on one hand I don't really expect anything more than friendship right now even though I'd welcome it. I am working hard to just be friends and casual with her.