If it keeps me from living the kind of life that I want to live, and mine does, then it is a disorder. It has caused chaos, hurt feelings, made me lose jobs. This is NOT just some variation of normal. That said, my T describes me as "high-functioning" meaning that my level of intelligence and education have allowed me to function somewhat better in the real world than others with BPD. And I can certainly see that in these forums. There are some who post here who seem much less able to cope than others. Less able to cope than I am, and I did not think that that was even possible when I first got here. My heart just breaks for these folks.