Annika, I so relate to all of this and your confusion about the words. My issue is with my diagnosis. I want to say I am BP II because I my unmanageability is definitely with the depression. But my pdoc thinks there have been full blown manic episodes (early on when I was only taking antidepressants). And I definitely have the severe agitation at times when I'm hypomanic.

Like you said it doesn't matter whether it is BP I or BP II, it is what it is.

I feel grateful today that I'm coming out of a depression. I'm hoping to be stable for awhile.

I love this forum, it is really helping me better understand my illness and not to feel so alone because people who don't have it, don't get it.