I hear that you feel that she doesn't care about you, because she didn't read everything you'd written, and that she didn't give you the time on the phone you felt you needed. But I also note that she did call you back, responding to your message that you were struggling. And she wants to discuss goals with you again; that is a sign that she wants to continue helping you, that she wants to work with you. She wants to work on goals so you have some signposts along the way to point to--"look! I've accomplished this!"--because you've expressed frustration with yourself and a feeling that you have made no progress. She may not have read all your messages, but your appointment is on Saturday--perhaps she was intending to read them before your appointment, so they'd be fresh?

I am not trying to be argumentative. I am seeing something slightly different, am interpreting something differently, than you are. Because you are interpreting her actions and words in the worst possible light for yourself, and using them to "prove" to yourself that you are not cared about, that you are not worth the time or energy.

Well, I'm a total stranger, and I think you are worth the time and energy. I would guess that your T, whom you called "amazing" in your OP, also thinks so.

I know that it feels like a tall order to try not to beat yourself up, but I hope you can find some way to be kind enough to yourself to carry on, and give her the chance to keep helping you. It sounds like you're hurting something awful, and I get that, I've been there. And there is a light at the end of that. You just have to keep moving one foot in front of the other.