My family has no idea how unhappy I am. They think I am totally carefree and just let worries melt away. I somehow manage to hide it from all of them. Nobody except for a few close friends has any clue how depressed I am, and even they don't really understand the full magnitude of it even though one of them is very depressed herself. I always have to smile when I am meeting somebody for the first time. I smile at the cashier, the doctor, the mailman, etc...how are you, "good!". Inside I just want to be left alone so I can get back home as quickly as possible and hide.