Thank you all for responding. Your responses were really helpful. When i told my T about dissociation, i didn't use the word "dissociation" basically because (1) i don't really like to self diagnose (2) i didn't know what i felt was dissociation. She had asked me why i had self injured at the time and i told her it was because of going numb, feeling like i was in a dream, etc. and then she told me it was deprsonalization/ derealizaton, which is a kind of dissociation. I still don't use the word dissociation with her (i used it here for the sake of keeping the post relatively short and for the sake of explaining my situation). But she asks me every session if i felt like i was in a dream that week and if i say yes, then she asks me when it happened, how it felt like, etc. i just don't like explaining the way it feels so it's extremely hard for me. Even when i think about those times, i might dissociate and i don't want to do that in front of her. anyways, sorry for the essay :/