On Wednesday, I reached out to 2 potential new T's. Neither one wanted me as a patient. And, as usual, after reminding myself several times, I forgot to ask the most pressing question on my mind to the T who gave me a consultation. I really don't know where my head is lately. The question is whether to have anonymous sex to relieve tension or not, as long as it's safe. I am not in a suitable emotional place for a relationship or dating and, frankly, have no experience with either. I have avoided sex for years. I talk to friends and they love it. Not me. I'd rather avoid it entirely. I was raised by cold and unloving parents and that's what I learned. I guess that says it all. No wonder I do not know how to enjoy life or understand normal interpersonal relations. I have felt for some time now that I am less than human. I guess that's true.