Thread: T's postcard.
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Old Sep 13, 2013, 03:18 AM
Anonymous37903
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I've written before how yrs ago T made the offer of sending a postcard when she's away to help me.
This turned into sending me a photo with a simple one line.

Depending on what space I'm in I see how I take what I need at the time from this. Eg, when I've been in my abandoned space I've set my email ringtone to one that I associate with T and check it constantly. Photo arrives and I put so much meaning into it. Analyst every word. Imagine T only focusing on me. Worrying how I'm doing.

Move on a couple of yrs and sitting reading yesterday evening my email tone binged (forgotten I'd changed it) and there it is. T's photo and her one line. I felt a bit, hhhmmm hard to find the right word, annoyed? No, fed up? No, disturbed? Not sure. It felt like I was quite content and an overbearing parent had walked in on my peace.
Now I know that's not what T has done. But It made me see why it's important a T keeps a healthy boundaries.
I use to think I wanted T to tell me shes concerned about me. I use to want T to initiate contact. I use to want T to be bigger in my life than I am. I'm smiling to myself here. Thinking, what 'users' we are in our pain. It's all what we want. And don't get me wrong, that's why a therspist can never be a friend, and a friend never be our T.
T has always said that its fine for me to 'use' her as I need.
So as my last session ended with my being able to comfort myself, that appears to still be the case.
I looked at T's photo from where she's gone with interest. But I didn't need to 'take anything' more than what it is from it.
It's refreshing when the fog clears and your able to see more.