My T explained it to me this way when I was having the same thoughts....

When things are tough it is our natural human need to find a way to fix the solution and if nothing else seems like a good enough solution, then it is often natural to find the ultimate solution....."I should kill myself"...problem goes away. It is the ultimate sign that something is really bothering you and this is the best time to talk it through with your T. Your T will see it as a good thing if you talk about, at least mine did anyway.

Take good care neutrino