It sounds as if he he really wasnt on his way and he was bluffing (trying to manipulate your daughter into seeing him).

The way you describe his behaviour sounds so familiar to what I experienced...so strange how familiar. It almost sounds like the same person.

They go to these types of extremes when they do not get their way, too. From being charming to begging, pleading, rationalizing, intense anger, threatening, bullying, apologizing, and then starting the cycle again. Thankfully, when they get tired or distracted or something shiny comes along, they go away.

I would not be surprised if there was someone else. Someone else that he is reliant on, that he is using (like this person three hours away).

I am glad to know you and your daughter and the baby are safe. Stick with the safety plan. Esp through the weekend.

(Also save the messages he sent. Esp the threatening one(s). You may need them later for law enforcement).

Hug