iridium, I'm sorry to hear you are having so much pain. Have you seen a psychiatrist yet? Or a therapist? If not it would be a great time to start. There are medicaitons that can hopefully help you. I, too, have periods of anger for no reason, of course that doesn't mean I don't let it out inappropriately. Usually at my husband. I, also, pretend to everyone else in my life that I am happy and functioning. I work and have to put on that fake smile everytime someone walks in the door. Somedays it is all I can do to make it through the day. And I do it one step at a time. I'm in the process of having my meds changed which hopefully make me feel better. Good luck to you. You can also PM if you wish.