Since your "anniversary" is coming up, have you thought about seeing a therapist or someone to help you through it? I had a weird stroke like thing last year about this time, so I'm a little nervous about it. I'm already seeing a t, but I'm gonna make sure to talk about it. I don't know if this is what's happening to you, but I will like disappear from myself for a while, maybe not see friends, hard to explain what happens, then all of a sudden my weight is up, etc. Right now I'm trying to keep on top of things with a 10 month plan. Maybe you just need somebody to help see you thru the next 6 weeks, a short term therapy, just to get back on track. I'm glad you keep posting here on pc. We're all in this together.