I haven't been posting a lot lately, but I felt I should post this. I have been stable on meds for 11 months and 2 weeks.. Last week my life fell apart. I very very quickly became manic despite being on meds. I spent my entire checking account and savings account purchasing things off Amazon and Ebay. I also started doing some wierd things that my roommate picked up on.

Well I am still manic as I type this, but now I am broke, busted and can't be trusted. I called my mobile psych rehab worker today and said we need to talk. She was like is there something wrong, but I am a master at deception, I said no. Well she came by and noticed right away things weren't alright. She and I talked for about 2 hours and came to the conclusion at this point I'm not hospital material. I'm not threatening myself or others, well not seriously anyways. She also had some pull and got me a PDoc appointment on Tuesday, something that would be impossible without her connections. I also agreed to sign up for a payee. I cried. I have now lost control of my finances, however I think it will be for the better. I bought 4 desktop computers, 4 brand new 22 inch LED screens, a home theatre system and a 40 inch LED TV, all in about an hour. 4300.00 poof, gone. I am not happy about the payee but I will take her suggestion.

My AD stopped working about 2 months ago, but I didn't want to try anything else because the loss of libido. So I've been festering without an AD. Then shortly thereafter my mood stabilizer stopped working, that I got changed to Lamictal, because I was driving myself insane. So without an AD, and little to no sleep everynight finally pushed my body over the edge and made me sick. I would appreciate any kind thoughts or prayers. Thankfully I am not so bad yet that I have passed the point of no return, but I am shufflin that way.