It can be a matter of perspective. When I came out, all I wanted to do was have casual sex for fun and not fall in love (take into account that I was twenty). Eight months later, I ended up in a relationship with a guy I had met four months prior. I was avoiding a relationship and it found me. Granted though, this relationship was purely sexual, and after three years, it ran its course. This doesn't have to be the case for you.

Get to know who you are with and know if you guys are or aren't compatible about more than just sex. It's the opposite of what I and the person I was with did. I do feel that starting off with sex is realistically healthy at the start of getting to know a guy. It is a significant part of compatibility, but not the only part of it.

I understand your fear. You can meet some scary fellows when hooking up. I ultimately know I scare guys off with my issues, so I no longer aim for a relationship. I wouldn't say I am asexual, but moreso celibate.

Do you have a group of gay/gay friendly friends you can hang out with? This is a good way to get to know someone outside of the bedroom. You can see how he interacts with others, what his ideas and plans are, and also get an outside perspective from people whom care about who you end up with.